Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
only if we run a train.
done.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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