Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
