I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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