Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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