I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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