be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
smell my finger.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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