ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Ketchup is God's man juice
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
