I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
