hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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