In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
