being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
They are going to name an STD after you.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
