dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
