i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
