tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
