it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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