i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
