I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize