My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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