IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize