i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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