mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
