PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
