I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize