I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
