oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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