Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
