remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
