"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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