Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
