he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize