After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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