Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize