Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize