Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
