My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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