You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
