she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize
