I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
