11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out