So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK