Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.