office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
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So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
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Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA