I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.