It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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