That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
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she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
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I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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