the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Randomize
