Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
