is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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