brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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