I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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