Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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