I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
