So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
