i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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