last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
