does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
