Plan B is the new Plan A
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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