Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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