she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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