At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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