I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
